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Slinger and Goblin/When Harriet Met Lana
When Harriet Met Lana is the first issue of the comic series Slinger and Goblin. Transcript Agents of A.I.M. are seen existing a large drill that has burst out of the ground. One contacts someone with a communicator on his wrist. *'82:' This is A.I.M. scientist number 82 checking in with Scientist Supreme and/or M.O.D.O.K. The test drive of Cosmi-Drill Model I was a success, cutting through everything it could before exiting from under a road. However, this road is three miles away from the desired location, meaning there are some kinks that must be worked out in the next model. *'???:' Wow. 82 turns and sees Lana Osborn in her suit floating above them. *'Lana: '''You guys have gotten really unsubtle as of late, haven't you? 82 looks at her for a few seconds before continuing his communication. *'82:' What appears to be an adversary has just entered the area, my men and I will now do our best to either swat her away from the drill or strike her down. Over and out, this is A.I.M scientist number 82. He ends his communication. He then grabs a gun and aims it at her. He begins firing at her and she dodges the bullets by flying out of their way. The gunfire attracts more scientists who are all armed. *'???:' Hey!! Everyone turns and sees someone in a mask. They begin speaking incomprehensibly and everyone stares at them. They take off their mask, revealing themselves to be Slinger. *'Harriet: Well, that was a resounding failure... *'''82: Another one? *'Harriet:' You're in New York, every block has its own hero. *'82:' I don't have time for this. 82 walks back into the drill and waves his hand at his men, half of them aiming at Harriet and the other half Lana. Lana activates a stun grenade and throws it at her half. Harriet looks around and grabs a manhole cover, using it as a shield against her half. She then sticks her hands to it and begins inching towards them. The soldiers continue firing as Harriet ends up taking them all down by throwing the manhole and hitting one of their energy guns, causing a sonic burst. *'Lana: '...Are they alive? *'Harriet:' Probably. *'Lana:' Hopefully. *'Harriet:' Nice to meet you by the way, my name's Slinger. A.I.M. is kinda my thing, so... yeah, that's why I'm here. *'Lana:' I'm Vibranium Goblin, I am here because I just like to fight crime. *'Harriet:' ...Goblin...? like some villain names? like the name where everyone who uses it is evil and even if you're not you turn evil eventually? like Green Goblin... Goblin... *'Lana:' Please don't mention that name. *'Harriet: '''And Vibranium. Like the metal that is really strong but if you hit it hard enough or play a loud enough sound it begins vibrating? the really rare metal that only really rich people can get their hands on. That Vibranium? *'Lana:' Yep. *'Harriet: Hm... you don't really have an accent so I'm assuming you're Caucasian... you're rich enough to get your hands on Vibranium... and Goblin... are you and Osborn? *'''Lana: Fine, I am. *'Harriet: '''Oh my god, I met an Osborn! that's awesome! and terrifying. Cause... you know... The drill starts up again and slowly sinks back underground before driving off. *'Harriet:' Right, that one scientist was still in there... well... crap... I think we both have to take him down. *'Lana: Why? *'Harriet: '''He has a very big army of people and I have literally no armor on. If I took him on alone my final meal would be a led bullet. *'Lana: True. *'Harriet:' Can your suit tell us the nearest suspected A.I.M. base or does it not do that? *'Lana:' Lucky for us, it does. Lana begins searching while Harriet circles around her, staring at her body. Lana notices this and looks at her. * Lana: What are you doing? * Harriet: Just checking you out. * Lana: ...Uh... sorry, but my door doesn't swing that way. * Harriet: What? oh, no! no, no, no, that's not what I meant at all! You just look awesome. Who made your suit and where did you get the parts for it? * Lana: My dad... * Harriet: I got my stuff from Tony Stark... technically... so, uh, is... is your dad okay? * Lana: He died. * Harriet: Oh... uh... I feel like if I asked any more questions I'd make this awkward so how about you ask me questions instead? * Lana: What's your real name since we will be partners probably? * Harriet: I'm Harriet Garcia. If you look my name up on the internet a completely different person comes up, my twitter account only has four tweets, and the only news article about me is in Spanish so, you know... if you turn out to be a villain don't bother cyberstalking me. * Lana: I am Lana Osborn and I don't want to end up like my uncle. Lana's eyes flash. *'Lana: '''The nearest suspected A.I.M. base is... underwater... *'Harriet:' Makes sense, the last A.I.M. base I saw was built into a mountain. A.I.M. likes to be hidden. *'Lana:' How are we meant to get there? *'Harriet:' Uh... do you have a submarine? *'Lana:' What? no. *'Harriet: You sure? cause every rich superhero I've heard of has a submarine. Then again there's always at least one odd man out. *'''Lana: I'm not rich. I moved to New York so I didn't have to become the CEO of OsCorp San Francisco. *'Harriet:' Well crap... uh... the only idea I have is stealing something but I'm pretty sure neither of us wants to do that... do you know anyone who has one of those diving boats? you know, the boats that have underwater suits on them? *'Lana:' I think Peter has a submarine? *'Harriet:' Who? *'Lana:' Oh, uh... he's a... friend... Peter Parker, good guy. *'Harriet:' Parker? is he the same Peter Parker that took all those pictures of Spider-Man for the Daily Bugle? *'Lana:' Yeah. *'Harriet: '''Why does he have a submarine? *'Lana:' Well, you... you follow Spider-Man for long enough and eventually you make a few friends in big places, right? *'Harriet:' True. So where does he live? *'Lana: Queens. *'''Harriet: Okay, well you're faster than me, so pick me up and carry me there. Harriet holds her arms out, waiting for Lana to pick her up, *'Harriet: '...Yes, I am well aware that saying that and doing this makes me seem like a toddler... but it's for the greater good. It suddenly cuts to Lana knocking on the door of a house. Peter steps out, buttoning up his shirt. In the background, Mary Jane Watson is cooking while wearing one of Peter's shirts and seemingly no pants. Peter looks at Lana in silence for a few seconds. *'Peter:' I know what this looks like with the whole buttoning up and MJ back there but I swear I wasn't doing what you think I was doing. *'Lana:' Eh, no worries. I don't care. *'Harriet:' Is that Mary Jane Watson? why is Mary Jane Watson in your house? *'Peter:' She's my girlfriend. *'Harriet:' ...The... the model... Mary Jane Watson the model who has met some of the world's most famous heroes is your girlfriend? *'Peter:' Yep. *'Harriet:' Wow... you were right Lana, this guy does have connections... *'Lana:' When am I wrong? *'Harriet:' I just met you so I wouldn't know. *'Peter:' I'm sorry, who are you exactly? *'Harriet:' My name's Slinger, I'm a big fan of your photography work for the Bugle. Mostly your Spider-Man stuff cause... well, kinda obvious why, right? Harriet points to her Spider-Man hoodie. * Peter: Oh. Of course. Lana leans towards Peter. *'Lana (whispering): '''Have you actually never met her? *'Peter (whispering):' I have but don't let anything slip. We all have secrets, right? *'Harriet:' What're you two whispering about? *'Lana:' So, can we get access to your submarine? we're going after a few criminals. *'Peter:' Technically it's not my submarine but yeah, sure. All I need is this. Peter pulls out an Avengers ID card and Harriet stares confused at him. *'Peter:' I'm friends with Spider-Man, this is his card... he said it's okay for me to use it. *'Harriet:' Oh, of course. It cuts again to docks by a lake, the bridges being made of steel. Peter scans the card and stands there for a few seconds, seemingly nothing happening. He counts down from three with his fingers while looking at his watch and suddenly a large yellow submarine raises from the ocean. *'Harriet:' Well... I'll be damned... it worked... *'Peter: Now be careful, it's got three layers of steel to protect it but depending on how powerful of a blast it takes it could rip through all three. In that case, there is another tinier submarine at the very back of it that is shot into the ocean the moment its doors close. Have fun chasing A.I.M. girls and come back in one piece! *'''Harriet: You aren't my dad but ok! *'Lana: '''He was telling us to not die, how did you take that as him trying to be your dad? They get into the submarine and it slowly lowers into the ocean. It then cuts to the A.I.M. base. 82 is seen speaking with the Scientist Supreme. *'82: And then two women, one just a girl, showed up and defeated my men forcing me to retreat. *'Scientist Supreme: '''And what did these women look like? *'A.I.M. Scout: Sir, the radar has picked up a signal coming towards us. According to our scans, it is a submarine and there are two lifeforms on it. Our scans have managed to reconstruct what they more than likely look like. The scout shows holograms of Harriet and Lana. The Scientist Supreme looks at the both of them and puts his hand on the Scout's shoulder. *'Scientist Supreme:' Congratulations, you're the new Scientist Supreme. Scientist Supreme walks out of the room. The scout clearly has a look of shock on his face. *'82: '''What are your orders, sir? *'A.I.M. Scout:' ...I'm sorry, I still don't know what just happened... sorry... In the sea, Harriet and Lana are seen exiting the submarine and swimming towards what appears to be an underwater elevator entrance to the A.I.M. base. The door closes and the water drains out of it, both of them taking off their scuba masks as the glass elevator begins moving up. *'Harriet:' ...You don't think the Avengers are gonna be mad we took some of their stuff and just left it behind, do you? *'Lana:' Maybe? The elevator continues lifting up, passing a room full of A.I.M. agents who all watch as the elevator slowly raises into the roof and disappears. Inside, Harriet and Lana remain completely quiet. *'Harriet: So, uh... there goes the sneak attack angle... *'''Lana: Wasn't a sneaky type anyways.